Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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