And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
