It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
