I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
did you just send me my own nude
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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