R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
