Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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