Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
