Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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