Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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