Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
