Kiss
Puke
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
