apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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