Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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