too bad you live with your parents still
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
