Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
