I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
