he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
