Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
