Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
