A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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