Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
