Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
