I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
did i walk over a car last night?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize