I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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