just come out here and I will go home with you...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize