You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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