Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
