before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
