do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
