Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
oh god was she eating orange peels again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
