if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
