R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
