Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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