I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize