I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize