Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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