There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
