And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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