Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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