and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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