I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you win again, gameday.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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