So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
