I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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