I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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