I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
