I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize