Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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