Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
