I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
