wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
