Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
