He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
