I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
