I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
