im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
