I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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